Who needs fucking friends and family, they’re nothing but trouble.
From now on, I’m going to keep my distance. The closer someone is to you, the more it hurts. And I’m sick and tired of being hurt.
Spent this morning crying and vomiting cause I felt so physically sick being near the people who should be the closest to me.
I hate this fucking shithole of a house.
Life is a fucking piece of shit.
Stop bloody self pitying yourself, you’re not the only one who is having a hard time right now. And you know what, you’re the cause of mine and Mel’s. I hope you feel better about yourself.
I am so sick of not being able to say and do what I want without worrying about making someone in this fucking house upset. Fucking selfish bitches. I feel like I’m treading on thin ice at home with a big, fat fake smile plastered on my face as if everything is alright.
And I’m tired of pretending I’m okay when I’m not.
And waking up every morning worrying if you’re going to be emo and hysterical AGAIN is bloody stressful.
Stop fucking taking it out on us. Both of you.
WE DIDN’T FUCKING DO ANYTHING.
And we are NOT scapegoats for you to vent on, fuck off.
You have no right.
What? So you think that nobody cares about you. I’m sure we were all celebrating when we heard you had cancer. Not crying every time after getting off the phone and skype with you in case you got upset.
And I’m sure we were both more than happy to be the go between messengers between you two just because you were both too fucking childish to speak to each other. GROW THE FUCK UP.
You’re both adults, start fucking acting like one.
Don’t think the past two years (and more) have been easy on us either just because we don’t say anything in case we piss you off. Because of you two, I had to fucking go to counseling in high school. Stop thinking your life is so unlucky and you’re the unluckiest person in the world, it’s not icing on the cake for us either.
Being born into this fucking shithole of a family.
With parents who are both liars, backstabbers and selfish assholes.
And don’t think just because you told me stuff about the other one that you’re a fucking saint either. Cause I know stuff about you too. You’re not fucking perfect so stop blaming everything on the other person.
Bloody sucks that I have to rant on here cause there’s no one else to tell. The only friend I would, I can’t cause she’s going through a hard time as well.
Seriously. I’m already at my limit, just leave me the fuck alone and give me some breathing space. Thanks to you I already have breathing problems from anxiety and stress.
You’re not the only one who thinks about dying.
It’s the one thing I think about every fucking minute of the day. I just have to find a method that’s 100% foolproof.
Don’t push me.
It’s been a while since I last posted on here. Seems like I never have happy things to talk about anymore.
17/02/13 @ 02:28pm
■ Hero Jaejoong
■ Xiah Junsu
■ Micky Yoochun
08/02/13 @ 04:11am
03/02/13 @ 03:00pm
■ Super Junior
My original flight was a one night stopover at Seoul from Fukuoka and then a flight to Tianjin the next morning. Everything went okay up till the next morning.
I made it to Fukuoka airport on time without too much derping during check in.
Got to Seoul and my stopover hotel organised by Korean Air just fine. (The hotel room was really nice but pretty much everything besides a bottle of water had to be paid for. So yeah, had no internet that night).
Managed to get up at 6am, have breakfast and still make it to the airport on time.
Went through baggage check and all that fun stuff to find out that my flight to Tianjin had been canceled due to weather conditions. Fml.
After a long ass wait in line cause two idiots were arguing with the staff (and later had to be pulled over by some police guy who got called over LOL), I got transferred to a flight to Beijing instead cause the staff weren’t sure my flight to Tianjin could be guaranteed the next morning either due to weather.
Which meant that one, I had an extra 9 hours to chill in the airport on top of the 3 I had already sat around waiting for; and two, mum’s friend had to pick me up from Beijing airport so she could send me to the train station the next morning. Awkward much?
So yeah after KFC, starbucks, a random bagel, duty free shopping and walking around a good 3/4 of Incheon airport’s massive ass concourse I finally got to board the plane.
But yeah, when I arrived in Beijing international airport and came out I couldn’t see her. So then it was another panic attack on top of the billion I had had already cause I didn’t have a working phone. We ended up finding each other like 20min later though cause she got to the airport later LOL -.-
But yeah, the whole thing was so fucking awkward I really wanted to dig a hole to die in. Plus staying at her house meant I had to like, keep her 2 year old triplets entertained. I was hoping they wouldn’t bother with me but no, as much as I hate kids they seem to be always be really attached to me LOL.
I got bitten, sneezed and dribbled on, boiled egg shoved down my top and all over my clothes etc. etc. You name it. I fucking hate kids adjaldjlsj!!
The train ride to Tianjin was okay I guess, apart from the fact that there was a bit of miscommunication between mum and I and I thought that she wanted me to wait in front of some place whereas she meant the exit to that place. But yeah, I got sooo lost and had to ask a billion people for directions in my broken mando….and ended up in front of some random bridge looking like a total idiot with all my luggage (including my massive one LOL).
Funny thing is, my uncle and mum only managed to find me there cause they happened to ask one of the people I asked for directions from before. And he was only one who bothered asking me questions so he knew I was from Australia HAHAHA.
But yeah, finally made it to Tianjin today after that long exhausting and stressful round about trip.
Feels amazing to see mum again! <3 Really really missed her! She is looking a lot better and happier since the last time I went to visit her which makes me so much happier :) Hopefully her final check up will be all good so she can come home soon without doing more chemotherapy >_<!